I try to be positive but when it comes to me I can only see the negatives. It’s almost a habit now and rather than look at myself and see good, I can only see the bad.
I know there must be good in me. I have a husband who loves me. And I know he loves me. I have friends who remain in contact with me. My family seem to love me (!) and my babies seem to too. There’s plenty of people in my village who stop and chat with me and they wouldn’t do that if there wasn’t something likeable about me would they?
But I continuously put myself down.
If I look in the mirror I see the following:-
– lank, lifeless, styleless hair that seems to be stuck at one length with the greys multiplying by the day
– a double chin that nothing will get rid of
– big, droopy boobs (which positively fed my eldest for 2years & feeding my youngest 7months so far)
– wobbly tummy, bum & thighs
– pasty legs
– horrid feet but I hate all feet not just mine
When I think about myself I think:-
– I always start things and never finish them, for example; my degree, Pampered Chef job, decorating round house, various crafty projects, housework in general
– I have no skills. I have only ever had office jobs and never gained a promotion and really the jobs I had, anyone can do.
– I’m a bad friend as I rarely call people (opting for text/email/Facebook message instead), I forget birthdays, I don’t meet up on regular basis with people
– I’m a bad mother. Too many reasons why – perhaps that’s another blog post to do…..
– I’m a bad wife. Through his love for me my husband has been forced to miss out on one of the most precious things life can offer us. (Not by me I hasten to add – and again another blog post topic for the future if I can take off my self censorship and not care about it being twisted and used against us)
– I’m lazy
– I think too much
– I’ll never succeed in anything
I need to work on feeling better about myself.
I don’t want my daughters to end up like me. If I can raise two daughters who can be happy with who they are and successful in whatever they wish to do then I will have finally done something right.
This is my take on Self Portrait for the Blog Every Day In August with Yummy Mummy In Training